www.coastalpirates.com

WEDNESDAYS #5 vs. E-POSSE:

(vol. 7W, no. 5; newsletter by b.n.)
(attachments to be added at a later date)
For this week's installment of the newsletter, I figured I would do something different for a change. So this week I'll just have a rundown of the scoring and chances and keep the newsletter nice and short. Yeah right.

On second thought, given that the game was played on Halloween, I will have a little treat for the readers. Not quite as good as the treats that Harris was handing out after the game, but a treat none the less. You know, since these paragraphs are not written in order, I can honestly tell you that this newsletter is not one of my better ones. In fact, you could say that it is one of my really bad ones. You could even say that it is the worst one I ever wrote ... And based on what follows, you would be right. Some times you just don't have it and this really is one of those times. I could probably rewrite what I have already written instead of sending out what is to follow, but then you probably would not be reading this until next Wednesday. So I decided to send out the newsletter in its pure unadulterated form. Think of it has an historical record that scholars can refer to when they need examples of what happens when a good thing goes bad, or in this case --- when a bad thing goes to s---. (Can I say s--- in an email that comes from an Asbury Park Press mail server? I wonder. If you didn't get this newsletter, then you will know the answer) (Editor's note: no you can't say shit in the newsletter).

Oh, and another thing: what I tried to do in this newsletter was associate each player with a cartoon character that I felt in some way reflected a certain aspect of the person's persona. As an example: In the case of #67, I chose Courage the Cowardly Dog as the perfect 'costume' for #67. Let's face it, given the recent scares in the postal system, and the threat of a new attack in the next 72 hours (which means today) -- there is no one that is more of a chicken than #67. So that was my intent with the newsletter that is to follow. Let me state clearly that it was not my intent to antagonize or make fun of anyone. It was not until after I finished the newsletter that I realized that people might be offended by the characters that I envisioned them as. So I will apologize to anyone who might be offended. While I am at it, I will apologize to the rest of you for a truly weak effort this week. Oh yeah, one more thing, don't open the mp3 attachment until after you read the following: Who lives in a Pineapple under the sea? (If you know the answer to this and you don't have kids -- you have a problem)

As the game began with our new arch rivals the E-Posse, some of us were still shedding the costumes that scored us candy earlier in the day. The opening line on offense consisted of Astro (from The Jetson's), Courage (from Courage, the Cowardly Dog) and Barney Rubble (if you don't know you are an idiot). I don't remember who started on 'D' other then Bart Simpson, who rotated with Elmer Fudd and Tweety Bird. The second line on O consisted of Aquaman, Buttercup (from the PowerPuff girls) and Captain Underpants (If you are not familiar with Captain Underpants - let me know and I will loan you my copy of "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants." A second attachment which shows an image of Captain Underpants is attached to this email for your viewing pleasure).

Now that we got the lineup out of the way, let's get this over with. Most of us remember how last season ended with the E Posse exterminating our playoff run in that memorable shootout. So you would think we would play hard and extract a little pound of flesh. Well, if you thought that you would be right, in a certain way of thinking. It would be the same kind of thinking that would allow Obi Won Kenobi to tell Luke Skywalker that Darth Vader betrayed and murdered his father. Yes, many of the truths we Jedi cling to are accurate only from a certain point of view. COME ON LUKE! Use the Force! Old Obi Won is using one of those Jedi mind tricks on you. Kind of reminds me of one of Jim McGreevey's political ads. Where was I? Oh yeah. What kind of title is "Attack of the Clones" ?? It reminds me of some bad Sci - Fi movie from the 50's ... What's the next Star Wars going to be? "Episode 3: Attack of the 50 Foot Woman"? Or maybe is should be: "Episode 3: Return of the Blob." Well, whatever it turns out to be I can guarantee that it won't be: "Episode 3: Revenge of the Coastal Pirates." Anyway, for anyone that is interested, the first period went something like this: Lots of hustle on the part of the Pirates, Captain Underpants had a nice shot on a pass from Aquaman (I think), but things stayed knotted at 0 deep into the first. Dexter (who I neglected to mention earlier from Dexter's Lab) had a strong period in goal and benefited from a post here and there. The only scoring in the period came when Courage settled a puck down for Bart at the Blue Line who stepped up and fired a slap shot for the score.

The 2nd period was a little bit of more of the same with good play all around, but not necessarily good things happening. Somehow (and I wasn't paying attention, so I really have no idea) the E-Posse were able to sneak
the puck into Dexter's Laboratory for the tying goal. Some excitement ensued
shortly thereafter and number 27 was called for a penalty. Of course, the penalty was on the E-Posse, but Elmer Fudd looked at the scoreboard, saw his number and headed to the box without an argument. With the bench screaming, Elmer realized his mistake, but was not in position when the puck was dropped and the E Posse were able to drive to the net and break into Dexter's Lab once again. The Pirates had a few chances including a breakaway by Courage who fired wide right but took his own rebound on the left side of the net and fired it back at the net. Both Astro and Barney had their shots at the puck in front of the net, but the puck would not go in. Later in the period Courage fanned on a perfect feed from Astro behind the net that could have been the tying goal. Late in the second, Bart took the puck in at the blueline and the puck was deflected high into the air. Courage was able to direct the puck down to his stick and headed to the net. An E-Posse stick caused him to fan on his first shot - but he was able to reach back a refire almost immediately and beat the goalie off the inside of the far post for the tying goal. And that is how the period ended. The 3rd period was highlighted by the Buttercup, Aquaman and Captain Underpants line who kept the puck in the E-Posse end most of the period. Buttercup had a chance to score the go ahead goal but shot it wide right from the doorstep.

Meanwhile at the other end Tweety Bird had a strong game at the point while Dexter stepped up the security at his lab and didn't allow any more unauthorized experiments in the 3rd. And that is the way it ended. Fortunately this one didn't go to a shoot-out.