WEDNESDAYS #6 vs. JAMOKES:

(vol. 20W, no. 6; newsletter by b.n.)
There are good times and there are bad times. There are people who dress up like ballerinas and dance and pirouette and then there are the Coastal Pirates. Of course there are Coastal Pirates who skate like men — and then there is Scott LeMatty. I remember in the days BISDC, I used to love playing 11:00pm games. Yes, indeed, I would much rather play at 11:00pm than 7:00pm. In fact, I have had some of my best games playing after 10:00pm. But that, as they say was BISDC. What is BISDC you ask? Well, BISDC is “Before I Stopped Drinking Coffee.” Geezuz, I can't stay awake at night anymore. What is up with that? Suddenly, the remainder of the Wednesday night schedule doesn't look so good. Egads. Holy Cow, I can't believe I just said “Egads.” Did I just say “Holy Cow”? Man, this newsletter is going nowhere. Speaking of nowhere, that seems to be where the Coastal Pirates are heading. But enough about that: Now for the bad news ...

You know it's bad when you suit-up and one of your opponent's is wearing an official Coastal Pirate jersey. I thought for certain this would be a clear violation of the “Coastal Pirate Code of Conduct,” but after huddling with the Pirate Executive Committee, I am no longer so certain. As it happened, the Coastal Pirates decided to wear white, which opened the door for Rob Armswood (a member of the Championship-winning Wednesday night team in 2000), to wear the famous traditional black Coastal Pirates' jersey. Now to the casual observer, one would think that since Rob was wearing the Pirate colors when he was not playing for the Pirates, then a fine would be in order (how that fine would be collected is another story, but considering how fine-happy the Executive Committee is, it would seem obvious that they would not pass up the opportunity to levee a heavy fine in any case). Of course, that is just the opinion of the casual observer. The initial ruling of the Executive Committee went something like this: “Well, this is an 'official Pirate Game,' so I don't think we can fine him for that.” What??? That's why I hate bureaucrats. So let me get this straight: If someone plays on another team and wears a Coastal Pirate jersey, they are fined a six-pack of imported beer; however, if that player is playing a game against the Coastal Pirates, then no fine is in order. Aaaahhhhhhhhh! Let's use some commonsense here: First of all, a rule is a rule and should be enforced consistently without any exceptions. What's next? It's okay to wear a Pirate jersey on the third day after a full moon in the second month after a near occultation with Venus? Come on, if the rule doesn't work, perhaps it is time for the Executive Committee to convene and re-draft the rules in a more evenhanded manner. From my perspective, the rules should not be strictly punitive, but should have some sort of justification for their existence. In the days BTPHTJ, there was never an issue: When the Pirates wore their black jerseys, there was no way an opponent could wear another black Pirate jersey. However, in the new era ATPHTJ (and that is “After The Pirates Had Two Jerseys”), there is the potential abuse demonstrated by Rob Armswood where the Pirates could pick a Jersey (in this case the new white one) and an opponent could don the opposite jersey (in this case the classic black). Now, like I said, I am just a casual observer, but it would seem to me that someone wearing a Pirate jersey who is not playing for the Pirates at the time, but is in fact playing for the opponents of the Pirates, is more detrimental to the Pirates than someone skating with a Pirates jersey in an 11:00pm consolation game against the Geriatrics. But that is just me. Man, Jimmy Ferraro is going to go ape-shit when he reads this. I just wish I would of thought of it before last Sunday's game. Oh well, enough of the bureaucratic mumbo-jumbo. I didn't realize until I starting doing my research for this newsletter that the Pirates' opponents were the formerly-named “Jamokes.” For some reason, they changed their name to “Jamokeys” — Why? I don't know, but they did. That is really not the thing I just realized, but the fact is that the Jamokeys were 5-0 going into the game with the 2-2-1 Pirates. Hmmm. I didn't think the Jamokeys were that good, which sort of explains what happened next ...

As I said earlier, I am no longer so fond of 11:00pm games. In my new decaffeinated, non-java jazzed-up existence, I can now see clearly that other people feel that same way. That is, I could see that in the brief periods when I was able to keep my eyes open — and that was even after a nap before the game (which in hindsight was probably not such a good idea). Anyway, the Pirates were able to scrounge up enough players to play the game, with the Miller Bros., Chris, Wildman and Scott LeMatty on offense, while defense consisted of Keith, Dave and the somnolent #67. Absent from the late-night affair was an AWOL Jimmy and Russ, who was supposed to be subbing for Craig.

The 1st period saw the Jamokeys jump out to the 1-0 lead at the 16:40 mark. The 1st period also saw the Jamokeys jump out to the 2-0 lead at the 15:45 mark. Just when it looked like the Pirates were destined to slumber through the entire game, Chris awoke the entire bench with a dreamy wraparound that put the score at 2-1. The reawakening lasted just a 1:00 minute though, as the Pirates' scoring touch went into hibernation and the Jamokeys were able to build a 3-1 lead at the end of the first 22:00 minutes of play.

The Pirates seemed to have their chances in the final period, but the puck was just not going in the net. Chris had back-to-back breakaways, but could not find the twine. Wildman too had a breakaway near the end of the game but the Jamokey goalie wasn't falling for the same move that Wildman put on John Arena the other week. By the final minutes the score was 4-1 and essentially out of reach. Oh well, at least there was Rob Armswood passing out beers after the game, celebrating the Jamokeys' victory — or was he paying his fine for wearing that jersey?