WEDNESDAYS #5 vs. GERIATRICS:

(vol. 24W, no. 5; newsletter by b.n.)
When was the last time the Geriatrics had a better record than the Coastal Pirates? To be honest, I don't recall a time when the two teams have faced-off against one-another with the Gerrys sporting the better record ... until now. Well, until before the start of the game the other night at least. Forget that the Geriatrics are in the C-Division. Forget the fact that the Pirates usually outscore the Geriatrics by eight or nine goals. Forget all that, because this season the Wednesday Pirates have been unable to beat anyone.

The game actually stared on a weird note when Keith declared, “I'm not scoring any goals because I don't want to be criticized in the newsletter.” Keith was of course referring to my now-famous newsletter about the Ducks game from the other week (click here to read it). The 1st period was extremely tight, with the Pirates picking-up the first score on a give-and-go when #67 and Evan Miller worked the puck out of the Geriatrics corner; Evan passed the puck to brother Scott so hard that it ricocheted off his skate and bounced into the net before Scott even had a chance to react. The Geriatrics answered back however, when they scored a fluke goal off a defensive-zone face-off. Did I mention that GoodSports replaced the rink's playing surface? Because this newsletter is so far behind all I can say about it is that the freakin' blueline is actually red! How stupid is that? Did I also mention that the Pirates had eleven skaters? No, I didn't mention that. I only mention it now because I have gone on record many times before about my opposition to playing with eleven skaters. Someone even pointed out to me that afterwards that the whole reason I jumped from the Geriatrics to become a Pirate was the propensity for them to show up with a bloated roster. So, in an effort to try not to sound hypocritical, I will maintain my stance that eleven skaters suck. That being said, for once you didn't hear any complaints out of the offense ... well, if you don't count Nick.

Oh yeah, there was another period too — I almost forgot about that. The Geriatrics picked-up a goal to take the 2-1 lead, but the Pirates tallied a pair of their own (Scott Miller on a feed from Gucci, and another from Russ on a great pass from Nick) and the game ended with the Pirates eking-out a 3-2 victory. The game may have ended but the controversy was just beginning. It all began as #67 was sitting in the locker room after the game when opposition goalie and former Gerry teammate Doug Collimore skated over and said, “Thanks for taking it easy on me tonight.” Then he proceeded to throw #67 an ice cold Silver Bullet (that's slang for a Coors Light). #67 tried to explain to all the dumbfounded Pirates around him that Doug was referring to a play in the last period when #67 took a gentle swipe at supposed loose puck beneath Doug, but that explanation did not fly with many in the locker room. Oh well, at least the Pirates won the freakin' game.
date of game: 1.04.06