WEDNESDAYS #8 vs. JAGUARS:

(vol. 39W, no. 8; newsletter b.n.)
editor's note: We are presenting this game recap in its original 3-part format that #67 sent it in as. We hope you enjoy this special trilogy edition of the newsletter.

installment no.1: I was wondering why Gucci had stuff to do like: pay refs and get the stats ... I had stuff to do like ... get stats and write the newsletter ... did somebody say “Boathouse”? and it was taco night!

installment no.2: oh yeah, if this is the newsletter ... you can't forget to mention that it is probably bad karma to mock the goalie before the game ... especially if said goalie is forced to face a penalty shot before he has even made a save on the night ... and its your fault ... definitely bad karma ... maybe you should wait for Sat am and the newsletter ...

installment no.3: I don't know what happened this week ... Pirates played on Sunday ... then Monday. Through my double secret “wink-wink” connection with those in the know on the S.O.C. I was given advanced knowledge that Harris was not going to be at the game. There was a set of requirements that was handed down with directives for each of the Lieutenants. (I am not certain if I am a Lieutenant or just someone that was chosen by one of the Lieutenants to do their work that they were too lazy to do.) Anyway No Harris = No Beer so I made sure that I grabbed the only six-pack I had on the way out the door (CoorsLight — my wife's beer). When I got to the rink, the locker rooms were already fairly packed but I managed to find a spot in the corner to get ready.

With exactly 4:11 remaining on the game prior to the Pirate's game the goalie straggled in. Yeah, I admit it, I gave him a hard time about that ... but it was all in good fun. After a while though it dawned on the rest of the locker room that “Frank” was the Pirates' goalie for the night (probably when LeMatty asked him after the goalie and #67 were jawing back and forth: “Oh, you are playing for us tonight?”). That's when it dawned on me that I was a little higher up on the S.O.C. food chain than I realized — nobody in the locker room knew that Harris was out for the night. Everyone thought that “Frank” was the goalie for the other team who just happened to be getting dressed in our locker room. Wow ... heady stuff. Anyway, LeMatty almost had to jump in between #67 and “Frank” when they almost came to blows after “Frank” threatened to let the other team score just to prove a point. And after all that, “Frank” was still dressed and out on the rink before #67 had his elbow pads, gloves and helmet on (must have been all that yapping that slowed him down).

But that wasn't the end of it: Before you could say whitchamacallit, #67 coughed-up the puck in the Jags zone and just like that there was a breakaway the other way; well it really wasn't a breakaway, but in all the confusion #67 was called for some type of hook that resulted in .... you guessed it ... a penalty shot. So there they were, the Gods of Irony standing along the glass watching as “Frank” (who just took a verbal pounding in the locker room from #67) was called upon before he even had a chance to touch the puck to make a save on a penalty shot drawn by none other than #67. You can't make this kind of stuff up (well actually I make this kind of stuff up all the time, but this time I didn't — this time it really happened!). So you can imagine the thoughts that were running through #67's head at this time: “I wonder if I should have stopped and picked up more beer.” Actually you may have thought that that was what he was thinking (and it was a pretty good guess), but no it was more like: “Holy crap ... I wonder if that guy was serious in the locker room when he said he was going to let a few pucks in just to piss me off.” But in a few moments the thinking was over and “Frank” came up big with a stop on Woczjowksit. (That's not the real spelling of his name by the way. After the “W” I just hit random keys on my keyboard). And with that, #67 let out a big sigh of relief, knowing that the events in the locker room were truly behind him. That is, of course, until “Frank” blurted out, “Hey that's not fair! I don't think #67 has really paid the price for that penalty. He should still have to serve 2:00 minutes!”

It's probably in bad taste to write a newsletter that is all about #67 when Russ got a hattrick and two assists, but Gucci was supposed to get the stats. Anyway I don't remember all the goals. I don't even remember the final score.

FOR THE RECORD
Attendance (players): Cassens, Farrell, Genalo, Gesior, Gucci, LeMatty, Matthews, Miller, Newcomb, Nicolosi. Net: Nikola.
Scratches: none.
Scoring: 1st period: 2-1 Pirates: Goals by Nicolosi (none); Genalo (Miller). 3rd period: 6-1 Pirates: Goals by Nicolosi (Cassens); Nicolosi (Cassens); LeMatty (Nicolosi); Cassens (Nicolosi).
date of game: 10.19.09