WEDNESDAYS #10 vs. MISFITS:

(vol. 12W, no. 10; newsletter by b.n.)
(editor's note: the views expressed in this newsletter are not necessarily those of the Coastal Pirates Management)

Farewell Glenn Farkas.
Farewell Roger Weiss.

For our final game of the season, the Wednesday night Pirates bid farewell to two of its longtime players — two players that are like night and day. Take Glenn: He is taking a season off so he can save up some money to buy a chain of car dealers on Route 88 in Lakewood. Roger? He's taking off a season because he sucks. In all fairness to Glenn, I won't miss the times he steps over the blueline and blasts a shot when he has a 3-on-1. In respect to Roger, well, the list is quite extensive ... turnovers in his own end ... bad penalties when the clock is winding down ... bad clearing passes that end up in our own end. It seems the list is quite extensive. My favorite Roger mystique has to be the time an opposing player with his same number was called for a penalty and then Roger looks at the scoreboard and sees his number and obediently heads for the penalty box; then, before he could recover and get back on the floor, our opponent had put the puck in the net.

Farewell Glenn.
Farewell Roger.

I must admit that I was quite surprised to see Roger at our consolation game against the Misfits. It was just a week earlier that his emails sent our Captain Russ Nicolosi into a hyper-agitated state that spread through the team like a bad cold. Not even a roll off duct tape and plastic sheeting could prevent the outbreak. There we were on the verge of advancing in the playoffs and all everyone could talk about was whether Roger should be on offense or defense. Thanks Roger.

So without Russ to put him in his place, it was Roger once-again campaigning to spend the game on offense. Did Glenn Farkas ask to play on “D” for the his final game? Of course not, Glenn is too much of a team player to care about such things. He could have pulled a “Roger” and demanded a shift at center or a period between the pipes, but no — he came to play and did not let out a peep when he was put on a line with the Miller Bros. Meanwhile, with Roger up on “O” with Allen, Chris and #67 almost came to blows deciding who would be on “D.” It was almost as bad as Roger ...

When the puck finally dropped it was Chris who lost the fight with #67 and started with Allen and Roger (“because they had their helmets on”). While #67 teamed with Chambers on “D.” The Misfits had picked up a couple “A” players and the 1st period was a surprisingly tight affair. The only score came when #67 took a puck down the far boards and, as he skated past the goal line, he cut in front of the net; once in front of the goalie he dropped the puck to himself, spun around and backhanded the puck past the goalie who never saw it coming (I'm not making this up either. Unlike my description of one of Allen's goals earlier in the season, this really happened. According to Harris, #67 “must be playing too much Playstation”). The 1st period ended with the score 1-0.

Where was Roger? The 2nd period saw the Misfits tie the game when one of the Misfits skated around the leftside of the net and somehow forced the puck past Harris for the wraparound goal. The game continued to be surprisingly tight until later in the 2nd period when Keith (who complains about the imaginary people who populate the newsletter) picked-up a puck inside the blueline and took advantage of the goalie on his knees by blasting the puck over his right shoulder (assist to Farkas). The score at the end of the two periods was 2-1 Pirates.

Still, no Roger. It was nice to see Glenn Farkas having a good night. Unlike Roger, who was doing nothing, Glenn was up and down the rink, making great plays on “O” as well as coming back to break up plays on “D.” When the Misfits tied the game early in the 3rd, it was Glenn Farkas who was rewarded for his strong play when he picked-up a pair of goals that put the game out of reach. Dave Matthews would like everyone to know that he was at the game on time. Keith Richardson continued to cement his place in Pirate lore when he took a puck down the near boards and unleashed a cannon of a shot that created ripples in the space/time continuum and gave the Pirates a three-goal advantage.

And Roger? He had a chance to end his Wednesday-night career on a high note, when he broke into the zone, weaved around the “D,” and then teed-up a shot that could have started the healing process with his teammates .... but like I said earlier ...