(vol. 13W, no. 2; newsletter by b.n.)
Is this a cry for help? I don't know. Perhaps it is, perhaps not. You know those guys from the future that read the newsletter? They are reading this one right now and they are saying to themselves: “Wow, So this is what the world was like before GW2” (that would be Gulf War II). They are saying that because they are smart enough to know that the game against the Knighthawks was played on March 12, 2003. That date is of course one full week before the other GW (that would be the Pres) imposed his deadline of March 19, 2003 on Saddam Hussein to leave the country. Of course, as Keith is quick to point out, these imaginary people from the future are misinformed. They may also be misguided. All in all, they are quite mystifying. Well, that is besides the point. Wildman will tell you that the future is not all it is cracked up to be, he's seen it and it is not a whole lot different then the past. But then again, who knows. Someone, somewhere is asking how future events are predicted in this newsletter. After all, if a game is played on March 12, how can the writer of said newsletter know about a deadline that was not announced until five days later. (Hah! Answer that one Roger!) Hmmm ... As the young Jedi in training say: “Maybe someone deleted the planet from the library's computer.” Whoa, now that would be cool. But as Russ would most likely tell you, “What do you think your are? Karnack? It's really easy to make predictions when the newsletter is a week
late.” Oh. Never mind.

So for all those paying attention our second game of the season found us playing against our favorite opponents, the Knighthawks. One of the advantages of playing the Knighthawks is the vast improvement in officiating (that is because the Worst Ref in the League is “unavailable' to officiate these games. More on that later). Another plus is the chance to face-off against Nick Gargulio who, though I still don't know how to spell his name, spent a few seasons wearing Pirate black. Nick never scored much for the Pirates, but you know how that goes. The Pirate lines for the night where Russ-Chris-Wildman on the second offensive line with #67-Miller Brothers on the first offensive unit. The “D” consisted of Dave Matthews, Glen Chambers, Scooby and Keith.

The 1st period consisted of some strong play. The Pirates would get on the board first when Chris worked the puck in along the far blueline and fired a “shot” in on net that was deflected high into the air; as the puck dropped from the stratosphere, Russ was breaking to the net and was able to swat it into the net just as it dropped below the crossbar. The period ended with the score 1-0.

The 2nd period saw much action as the defensive core stepped up and played spectacularly. The Pirates would find the back of the net again when Wildman worked a pass to Russ who flipped a backhanded shot from just inside the face-off circle that beat the sprawled Knighthawks goaltender. Russ would add another tally to complete his hattrick later in the period when he blasted a slapshot that beat the goalie high on his left side. The excitement continued in the 2nd period, when the “Worst Ref in the League” (who happens to be a member of the Knighthawks) was embarrassed when #67 (the slowest skater in the league) skated around him and broke to the net; with no other option the “Worst Ref in the League” stuck his stick between the legs of #67 and pulled with abandon. That was not the worst of it, though. After dragging down #67, the “Worst Ref in the League” piled on top of him and tried to elbow him to the back of the head. Fortunately for the Pirates, Bob (the ref who was actually reffing) had a little score to settle with the “Worst Ref in the League.” Anyway, to the surprise of everyone, Bob finally called a penalty when #67 was the victim of an egregious offense. What was more amazing was the tenacity with which the“Worst Ref in the League” argued the call; not only did he slam his stick, utter the word “bullsh--”and call Bob “blind,” but he had the audacity to question Bob's integrity (Hah!). Well that was the last straw: add 2:00 more minutes for the “Worst Ref in the League!” Way to go Bob. But you still owe us a few more ... (It was reported after the game that the “Worst Ref in the League” was suspended eight weeks for his Mike Piazza-style outburst (for our sake, we sure hope that suspension also includes that games he refs). The 2nd period ended with the score 3-0.

In between periods, it was the story of two defenseman. One of them was telling everyone: “Shoot high on this goalie.” The other was saying: “Let's get some goals!” So as the 3rd period ramped up, it was Scott Miller flipping a pass to #67 who had a hard time straddling the blueline (hey, even I thought he was offsides); #67 was able to shake the defender and with the words of Keith in his head, he flipped a backhand over yet another sprawled out goalie. Hmmm, I'm sensing a pattern here. The Pirates would open what would seem to be an insurmountable lead when Russ got a pass to Chris who would make the score 5-0. But then, bad things started to happen: First it was Keith kicking one into our own net ala Roger (Yeah, I know he said it went in off the Knighthawks skate, but who are you going to believe? Me or him? On second thought, don't answer that, it is a rhetorical question). Next it was the non-scoring Nick breaking in on Harris and doing what else? The score now 5-2.

Now that Roger is no longer on the team, I have been forced to find a new target. I wanted it so much to be Keith, but what can you say? Something's are not meant to be and Keith has more than proven that he is no Roger, but Dave on the otherhand is not so lucky. In a moment that was pure Roger, Dave found himself to the right of Harris when Harris came out to cover a puck; without a Knighthawk anywhere in the zone, Bob the ref yelled for Harris to play it. As Harris lifted his puck and slipped the puck to Dave, Dave took the opportunity to take off his glove and start skating for the bench. I didn't hear a whistle. DID YOU HEAR A WHISTLE? Nobody heard a whistle, except for Dave who left the puck just sitting there as he headed-off for a line change. Fortunately Harris was able to pounce on the puck before the swarm of Knighthawks arrived. We won't even mention the bad clearing pass later in the period that ended up on a Knighthawk stick for yet another score. With the clock winding down, a game that was once in hand at 5-0 came within the clank of a goalpost of being 5-4. Hey, we'll take it.

WON 5-3


He earned the “99” he wears this night. And, of course, for bringing Scott to the Portuguese place.

For tremendous hustle and working the puck for a 2-point evening.

For great play, but mostly for bringing the frosty beverages to the Portuguese place.