14W, no. 3; newsletter by b.n.)
I wish things could be different. But they are not. I wish it wouldn't rain every freakin' day. But it does not. I wish I wrote this newsletter last Thursday when I had a clue what happened in the game, but alas. I did not.
First things first though. If you drive a vehicle that's name is synonymous with Bill Clinton's favorite pastime, the thing should be reliable. Aren't those things supposed to be used by our military in defending freedom across the globe? It's beyond comprehension how we were able to drive the Taliban out of Afghanistan (not to mention the chaos we caused in Iraq) while our troops drove a vehicle that seems to be constantly broken down. Humvee? Is that it's real name? Whatever. Anyway, for what seems like the 41st out of the last 42 days, Harris' Hummer just couldn't hump it. Couldn't even get out of the driveway, if the reports I read on the Internet are accurate. So there we sat. We waited. We watched the clock. We stared at our cellphones. Nothing. The other team arrived. Do you guys have a goalie? they asked. Well of course we have a goalie you idiots! Where the hell he is, is another matter, but we got a goalie. Finally the extremely late hour of 11:00pm arrived and the Hummer was nowhere to be seen (nor was the 'Vette or any of the other 30 or so other vehicles that Harris owns but we won't get into that now).
Since our game was at 11:00pm, it was only fitting that we had 11 players on hand. It would have been nice if one of those 11 players had goalie equipment, but it was just not to be.
I can't even remember who we played. I think it was the Misfits. The game started with Captain Russ Nicolosi taking the sword, so to speak, when he volunteered to rotate through the offensive lines to solve the issue of the extra skater. In net, Casey LeCompletely useless was nice-enough to fill in for the guy with more vehicles then Barrett-Jackson (too bad none of them run). Anyway, the game got going with #67 and the Brothers Miller on offense, while on D it was either Dave and Mike or Keith and LeMatty. The Pirates were first on the board when Scotty Miller took a rebound from Dave Matthews and scooped it over the goalie. Next it was Russ taking a pass from Mike skating down the right wing and breaking to the center of the floor; Russ easily-picked his corner for the next score. LeMatty picked up a great non-goal when Goione skated from around the back of the net and sent a pass back to Scott at the blueline, who fired a puck that beat the goalie over the left shoulder the puck was in-and-out so fast that Scott Baldwin blew the call (hey congratulations, Scotty, you finally got your name in a Pirates' website!). Oh well, mistakes happen. Play was exciting with Wildman and Chris having some great chances, but it was the Misfits who had picked up a goal or two at this point, so it was still a pretty close game.
It might have been the 3rd period when Mike Farrell grabbed a puck at the blueline and fired it on net; the rebound came to Allen who flipped a quick shot that the goalie made a spectacular save on, but the puck came right back to Allen who ripped off another one-timer that this time found the back of the net. Later in the 3rd it was Mike again hitting Russ who once again blasted the puck past the goalie for the score. The scoring was closed out when #67 took the puck down the far boards on a 3-1 with the Miller Brothers; as the D came to him, #67 pushed the puck to the center of the rink where he found linemate Scott who put the puck away.
That is it! I think the final was 5-1
(Editor's note: It was 5-2).
1) SCOTT MILLER
For his 2 goals.
2) MIKE FARRELL
For his 3-point night.
3) ALLEN SNYDER
For sticking with his rebound to come up with a great goal.
We also had an Honorable Mention for a Skull submitted by #67: To General Motors:
For buying the rights to the H2 and producing a vehicle that starts when you turn the key.