(vol. 15W, no. 10; newsletter by b.n.)
The Wednesday Pirates' season effectively ended last week. However, due to the nature of the league, those teams that don't make the playoffs get to play a “Consolation” game; for the Pirates, the final game of the season was not a “Finals” game, but was one of these “Consolation” games. This last game ended not just the season, but also the end of an era — Mike Farrell announced that he was quitting the Pirates on both the Wednesday and Sunday leagues. So as Mike took the floor for his final Wednesday night game (he still as two or three games left for the Sunday team), you could not help but feel the emotion as the end of a brilliant (albeit short) career came to an end. Out of respect for all that he has done for the team, it was decided that Mike would be rewarded with the opportunity to end his career with the Pirates on offense. It must be noted here that this might have been a strategic move, considering that he is just as likely to put a puck past Harris as he is to put one past an opponent; and, considering he hasn't scored on Harris lately, he was definitely due. Mike happily stepped up into the center position, while #67 graciously dropped back to defense. The Pirates opponents for this historic final game? The Geriatrics.

Yes, the same Geriatrics that shutout the Pirates earlier in the season. Ah, but with Mike on offense, things would most definitely be different. Things started out with the “MESsy” line of Mike-Evan-Scott Miller on offense with #67-Dave on “D.” Things did not go as intended however, as it was thought that #67 would be able to step-up and play defense in the style and manner set by Norris Trophy winner Mike Farrell. Instead, #67 was overskating pucks, shooting (horribly), missing passes on the tape of his stick and falling (with the inability to get back up). All in all it was pretty ugly. It was during one of these plays where #67 found himself on his stomach as he watched the Geriatrics skate down the rink and score the first goal of the night. Things weren't all bad though, Chris Goione (who doesn't return phone calls made to his cellphone — his secretary does that) had a two-point evening (with Russ getting an assist on Chris' goal and then Chris getting an assist on Russ' goal in the 2nd period). I would have more to say about the matter, but this newsletter is not about Chris — it is about Mike. Chris can wait for his own newsletter. This newsletter isn't about Evan either, who also picked up a goal on the night (with an assist going to brother Scott). Nor is the Newsletter about Dave or Harris who combined on a play where Harris had the puck to the side of his crease when Dave was skating back to play it; there was some major miscommunication and neither Harris nor Dave had the puck. Instead, it was Steve Shames who got to the obviously loose puck and put it in for an easy tally.

So on a night that the Pirates celebrated all that Mike meant to the team, it came down to the final 4:00 minutes in the game with the score tied 3-3. It was the perfect opportunity for Mike to step up and write that fairy tale ending to the story book career with the Pirates. Instead of Mike though, it was #67 who spoiled the whole thing by finally stepping up and playing like Mike and scoring the GWG. And Mike? With no goals and no assists, he definitely did his job by playing like #67. Farewell Mike.

WON 4-3


His prestigious Pirate career includes 4 Norris Trophies, 1 Hart Trophy and 2,345 Coors Lights.

For finally playing better than #67 and continually trying to get things past “censor” in the newsletter
. Which, of course, never works.

For his pretty breakaway goal that looked like something out of ESPN's hockey highlights.