WEDNESDAYS #3 vs. GERIATRICS:

(vol. 15W, no. 3; newsletter by b.n.)
As Harris likes to say,“Jeez-us.” Or maybe it was “Gee-zus,” or something like that. Can't anybody cut me a break this week?

It used to be, I write the newsletter and Harris posted a newsletter. At first, I had to tell Harris that he was absolutely not allowed to change even a single word of the newsletter in order to maintain the thematic vision that I worked so hard to incorporate into each and every constonant and vowel that I spent endless hours agaonizing over. Then at some point I let Harris slide when he would put in a modification of the newsletter (a perfect example was a few seasons back when I wrote: “Roger played like dogmeat” and Harris changed that to “Roger's play, though not up to the idealistic vision that Roger would like to live up to, was at least better than that of Dave.” When this happened, I should of immediately nipped it in the bud, but I didn't. Before I knew it, sentences like: “Mike had one of his worst outings in recent Pirate memory,” became “Man, that Mike, what a great player. I wish I could play as good as Mike. Other than that tongue thing, he really is one hell of a player, and an all-around great guy for that matter.” Ahhhhhh!

I can't take it any more. And to make matters worse, Harris has started demanding rewrites! Give me a freakin' break! (That's another one of Harris' freakin' lines). At first, it was that game last season where Harris didn't think I placed enough blame on Russ, but now he lets other players make the decisions on what goes in the newsletter.

At first I wrote: “I have a video clip that is appropriate.”
Harris writes back: “He (meaning all-around great guy Mike) didn't want to use that.”
So I write back: “For this week's newsletter tell everyone to see vol. 14W, no. 5 (I thought that particular reference was appropriate because it was the newsletter from the last time the Pirates lost to the Geriatrics).”
But of course Harris thought otherwise: “You're being kinda lame abut this newsletter. will u be getting something today or do i need wildman to write about how 'stunningly close' and
'well-played' the game was?”
So I'm writing: “I give the frig up. Let Wildman write the freakin newsletter. I already sent you two of them.”