17S, no. 3; newsletter by b.n.)
You would think that on a night where the Coastal Pirates exploded for an unprecedented 12 goals, I would have something to write about. Well, you would be wrong. You would also be wrong if you thought that if the Pirates scored 12 goals, their opponent must have been the Geriatrics. They weren't. Finally, you would be wrong if you thought that Scotty LeMatty would have an awful game after spending the entire day at the Belmar St. Patrick's Day Parade! Instead, Scotty found the back of the net just about every time he shot the puck (in fact, he even found the back of the net on a pass that somehow drifted into the net). It would impossible for me to include all the great plays during the night especially since the game was almost a week ago and I can't remember most of them. Kevin had a great play where he skated all over creation and got the goalie down with a nice forehand-backhand move, but that wasn't enough for Kevin as he continued making moves before finally mercifully putting the puck into the open net (although one could argue that Dan DiPierro should have smacked him to the ground Todd Bertuzzi-style because he was also standing wide-open on the side of the net in the midst of a 4-on-0 breakaway). Besides skating all over the rink to score, Kevin proved he could also score without making any moves at all off the face-off at center ice, #67 got the puck back to Kevin who cranked it from his own blueline for the score.
What game would be complete though, without a goal coming on a delayed penalty call? Those in attendance last Sunday were witness to this rare event when the Pirates found themselves skating into the opponent's zone with the ref's hand raised for the delayed penalty call; since it was the 2nd period, Harris was at the opposite side of the rink from the bench and I must be honest, he was in his own little world. The entire bench was screaming Harris come to the bench! but he was just skating around his crease, trying to clear dust bunnies from the front of the net. The bench continued to scream and the Pirates continued to cycle the puck deep in the opponents' zone while maintaining possession of it; finally, Harris made a beeline for the bench and, with the extra skater on the floor, the puck came to Russ who buried the puck for the score.
Although the game ended with the Pirates winning 12-3, that wasn't the end of the night's festivities. If you thought you saw some bizarre events in the parking lot, you missed one of the more memorable ones if you didn't go out the back door after the game. With a baseball clinic going on at GoodSports, parking was at a premium and most of the Pirates were forced to park in the back lot. I thought it was extremely odd when Wildman came out the back and threw his stinky hockey bag down behind a red Taurus station wagon. When I asked him about it, he said that no, his Acura wasn't in the shop (like Harris' Hummer usually is), but instead he borrowed his brother's car so he could move some furniture. I didn't really think about it as we all moved down to the other end of the parking lot to attend The Meeting. Throughout The Meeting, a steady stream of parents and their kids came out and jumped into their cars and left. At first, I ignored the group of people that had walked over to Wildman's red Taurus, even though they were standing there for quite awhile. They were looking down at the bag and looking around; they looked toward us but looked away obviously intimidated by a group of sweaty hockey players standing around drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon. After a few minutes, it was obvious that something was up as they continued to stare at us and we continued to return their stares. Finally Wildman looked over at Harris' Hummer and noticed another red Taurus station wagon parked next to it and the wheels started to finally turn in Wildman's head; finally, Wildman looked at his bag at the feet of the other group and began to run toward them: Oh, I put my bag down behind the wrong car! After many apologies, the parents and their kids piled into their red Taurus and drove off into the cool, New Jersey evening.
1) SCOTT LEMATTY
For his 5-point night.
2) GLENN FARKAS
For his 4-point night.
3) KEVIN MCLAUGHLIN
For his 3-point night.