17S, no. 5; newsletter by b.n.)
There was a time when I could sit down and spit out a newsletter in no time flat. Today is not one of those times. But then, the newsletter is not supposed to be about me, it should be about the team. No one cares whether or not the last sentence was written in the past predicate form (In all honesty, I don't even know what that means, so I can't say that I blame them). No, people really don't care about me, what they care about is Harris. They want to know what kind of car he drives (and that changes every day based on what loaner car the Hummer dealer gives him while they apply more duct tape under the hood); what he eats for dinner (crow mostly); and, most of all, they want to know what he has to say at the meeting after the game. But who can concern themselves with a simple thing like a shower when there is a game to talk about.
Our opponents for the night were the former Blizzard (sporting new green jerseys and calling themselves the St. Pats). They all had names on the back like O'Toole, O'Shea and O'Wheels (one could only wonder what name Harris would sport if he was on the team, perhaps O'Baby). For the first time since the Neil Armstrong walked on the moon (note that that rhymes with spoon), the Coastal Pirates encountered an opponent that was not in the A division.
A strong 1st period goal by Wildman (on a feed from LeMatty) put the Pirates in the lead for the first time since the Carter administration. Later in the period, it was #67 taking a pass from Chris at the point and then taking the puck to his backhand before finally throwing the puck on net; as Tim Hand and Chris screened the goalie, the puck snuck in through the O'Five Hole. The Pirates ended the 1st with the score Pirates 2-0'St. Pats. Surprisingly, the 2nd Period ended with the same score.
Perhaps the Pirates were unfamiliar with playing with a lead, because as the 3rd got going, (like Harris hanging out on the beach) the Pirates suddenly found themselves on the rocks. Two quick goals by the St. Pats put the game into a 2-2 tie. The score would remain the same until late in the 3rd when Wildman converted a great pass form Tim for the score. With the Pirates clinging to the lead, and with just over a 1:30 minute remaining and with the St. Pats goalie poised to vacate his net, and with everyone getting fed-up with me typing, it was Glenn Farkas putting the knife in the hearts of the St. Pats with some awesome forechecking when he stole the puck behind the net (the St. Pat were heard yelling O'Shit!); Glenn stepped around the net and scored. But that was not the final score of the night. You would think with a two-goal lead Wildman poised on the two-goal plateau (and also poised wide-open in front of the net) that Farkas would feed Wildman for the easy score with only seconds left in the game; instead, he wrapped the puck around for his second goal of the night just as the horn sounded (in Farkas' defense, Russ did say no backpasses). Oh yeah, that was the game. For those of you brave enough to attend the meeting, Russ made good as the first Pirate to pay his fine both the one he owed and the one he knew he would get assessed for showing up late to this game. And Harris? O'Nevermind.
1) JOHN CASSENS
For his great hustle,
his two goals, and his excellent game.
2) TIM HAND
For his hard work in the corners, and the big assist on Wildman's GWG.
3) GLENN FARKAS
For his 2 goals in the final :90 seconds.