(vol. 18S, no. 3; newsletter by b.n.)
One of the worst feelings in the world is when you show up for your 7:00pm game and, as you walk into the rink, you notice that your team is skating around the rink. As it turns out, Scott Baldwin had screwed you again by changing the Sunday schedule without warning; that feeling, however is tempered by a last minute phone call from Harris who was scrambling to find subs to fill-out the roster. According to Harris, he left three messages for Mike, but he never called back. So after all that, is it any surprise who should come walking in the locker room as you are getting dressed? You guessed it, Mike Farrell. As it turns out, Mike said he tried to call Harris back, but every time he called he got a “girl’s voice” on the voicemail — and instead of leaving a message, he just hung up (Harris would later explain to our friend the complexities of “call forwarding” and its usefulness when your fiancee also owns a cellphone); still that doesn't prevent Mike from showing up to the game “uninvited” so to speak. But Mike was gracious: he insists that he would not play; that since you were already half-dressed, and since you had (in fact) confirmed with Harris, that you should (in fact) play while Mike would (in fact) watch. But then gametime arrives and a quick head count still confirms that the Pirates are still (in fact) one skater short. Mike quickly jumps into his uniform and the game against the Red Stars begins.

Other than a goal by John Minerva (a bouncing rebound to Harris’ left that he was able to swat into the net) the Pirates played a strong 1st period, and only trailed by the score of 1–0 at the first buzzer. According to Harris, just before the drop of the first puck, you (the author of this newsletter) had told him: “If Russ shows up, I'll
sit and let Russ play” (this in an effort to avoid having eleven skaters — something that we all know and hate). Your conviction was called into play, however, when Russ does actually show up. Yes, I know you (the author) told Russ to get dressed and play. And, yes, I know Russ asked you in return: “What’s the matter? You don’t want to play?” However, instead of answering , “Well, of course I want to play,” you should have answered something more diplomatic like: “Well Russ, I am really just filling-in here since Scott Baldwin screwed me tonight and then Mike Farrell screwed me again by showing up without warning. But since this is your slot and Mike Farrell doesn’t seem to want to do the right thing and get off the floor, you should get dressed right now. And by the time you get your stuff on, I will get a couple more shifts in and then I will meet you in the parking lot.” But you didn’t answer like that. And Mike continued to skate, and you continued to skate and Russ continued to sit. Well, in actuality, Russ was standing the whole time — prowling the bench like Scotty Bowman — but that is beside the point.

So as the 3rd period got underway with the Pirates hanging in the game trailing only 1–0, perhaps it wasn’t the best time for you and Mike Farrell to joke about how much rink time Farrell takes. After all, with Russ standing on the bench while neither you or Mike would give up the spot, you really did look like a bunch of jerks. Oh well, what else is new? Anyway the Red Stars were able to put two more on the board during the period — the final goal being a 2-on-0 with Minerva breaking in down the left wing; according to Harris (for reasons beyond even his understanding) he thought John would pass the puck and was probably cheating a little to the center of the rink, when the non-passing John Minerva beat him with the shot. Still, considering the Pirates lost 10–0 against the Red Stars last time, coming out with the final score of 3–0 is a marked improvement. Don’t tell that to Chris however, who got dumped by Dave Stickle head first into the boards.

LOST 3-0


(none awarded)