(vol. 18W, no. 7; newsletter by b.n.)
Unless you live in a cave, eat rocks and bathe in swamp water, you cannot help but recognize the sometimes annoying MasterCard commercials that have been on TV. A couple years ago MasterCard played a collection of commercials with two guys driving around in a Volkswagen van as they visited various baseball Parks — you know the commercials: “Program in the first … $5.00. Popcorn in the third … $6:00. Watching a perfect game … Priceless.” (As it turns out MasterCard was sued for these baseball-related commercials because someone had made an independent film on the same subject, even using the same vehicle.) Why do I mention any of this? Well, MasterCard came out with a commercial at the beginning of the hockey season that showed a youth hockey club at the beginning of their season. It went something like this: “New stick for Jeremy Fisher …. $25.00. New pads for Tommy Miller … $45.00 New mouth guard for Matthew Jones .. $17.00.” What!? $17.00 dollars for a mouthpiece? That is ridiculous! The black plastic mouthpiece that they show in the commercial is probably worth about 49¢. Where did they come up with that outrageous price for a mouthpiece? Then I thought to myself, maybe they were shopping at M.R. Sports (that’s the name of the hockey pro-shop located next to the stands at GoodSports.). A $17.00 mouthpiece would be par for the course at M.R. Sports. What always drove me nuts about that place was that when you really needed something, they wouldn’t be open. Or if they were open, the items would be so overpriced that when you try to pay by credit card it would send you over your credit limit and you would be stuck hitting Harris up for spare pocket change so you could buy a much needed roll of tape. But as of last week, all that has changed: Scott Baldwin and Bobby Currao have taken over management of the Pro Shop! Rumor has it that besides the sticks, skates and other hockey-related items, the pro shop will even carry a full line of Coastal Pirate memorabilia (one of sidebar benefits of Scott and Bobby not reffing is that the rink was forced to spring for real referees last week when the duo took the night off to close out some final financial matters). In fact when Scott heard the Russ wasn’t coming, he launched into a tirade: “That no-good #^*$(@&*£&@! He never misses a game when I'm reffing! He did this on purpose. That piece of *$(@&*£&!”

Does anyone care about the game? I’m sure someone does. The Pirates found themselves facing the Jaguars and with the loss of Russ and Evan, the team came out with a new defensive look on offense; with Mike, Keith and Kevin on manning the blueline, there suddenly was no slots for #67 and Dave, and they both started the game on offense with Scott Miller on the left wing. The Pirates would get on the scoreboard first when Kevin blasted a shot through a screen in front. Craig would then net a pair of goals (the first from Chris and John, the second from Keith), to put the Pirates on top 3–2 at the end of the 1st period.

The Jags unfortunately tied it right back up off the first face-off in the 2nd period. Still, the Pirates continued to roll in the 2nd, when #67 stole a puck in the corner and fed it back to Scott Miller, who blasted it from just outside the face-off circle. The Pirate special teams then went to work when Craig (working the puck down low) got the puck to Mike at the point, who fed an awesome pass to Wildman for
one of the prettiest goals all season — a one-timer up high. Wildman would assist on the next goal when he got the puck to Kevin, who blasted his second goal of the night.

Going into the 3rd period, with the Pirates leading now 6–3, there were two Pirates poised at the two-goal plateau: Kevin and Craig. Kevin settled the matter early when he picked-up the puck just minutes into the period and blasted his third of the evening from the blueline. Craig was another matter entirely. For the second time in three weeks, Craig went deep into the 3rd in search of a hattrick; and for the second time in three weeks, he came up empty. The expression on Craig's face after missing the great pass from Dave into an otherwise empty net: Priceless.

By the way, Scott wanted me to mention the first sale item at the Pro Shop: Mouthpieces ... $22.50.

WON 7-3


For his third career hattrick as a Pirate.

For his 2-goal outing.

For his PPG that broke the Jaguar's backs.