(vol. 9W, no. 10; newsletter by b,n.)
What could be worse then settling for a tie against the Geriatrics during the regular season? Well, the obvious answer is failing to make the playoffs by one point. What could be worse then failing to make the playoffs by one point in a season when one victory against the Geriatrics would have been the difference? Well, losing to the Geriatrics.

I must admit that last week I rather enjoyed stepping out as my alter-ego, TPOC. Now, for those of you that are not paying attention, TPOC has no relation to the rap singer who was gunned down on the West Coast. Nor does TPOC appear in any episodes of Star Trek (I think that was T-PAU). TPOC is ... well, he is TPOC. There is also no truth to the rumor that TPOC is from the planet K-PAX (that would be prot). TPOC is a traveler much like prot (by the way, “prot” rhymes with “goat” and is not capitalized) but instead of traveling on a beam of light, TPOC travels on eight wheels. Why is any of this important? Who really cares? Well, this background is important because last week TPOC traveled among the Geriatrics and brought victory to a team that had not won a game since he last wore their jersey. This week TPOC returned to the Coastal Pirates and by some bizarre schedule arrangement found himself playing against the very same Geriatrics that he led to victory the week before. Could TPOC return the favor? All I can say is: What could be worse then losing to the Geriatrics?

Our last game of the season did not start out well for the Pirates. After being outhustled the previous week, you would think the Pirates would come out strong. But, that's not the way it worked out. On one particularly ugly play, their was a case of “hot potato” (or hot potatoe for you Dan Quayle fans). The “D” thought Harris was going to cover it — Harris thought the “D” was going to play it (I'm guessing here, because I neglected to ask Harris). In all the confusion, the Geriatrics were able to pounce on the puck and score. The Gerrys would add another goal before the 1st period was out to make it 2-0.

As if things couldn't get any worse, the Gerrys would jump out to the stunning 3-0 lead early in the 2nd. As Russ would say after the game “Man, we suck!” Fortunately the team showed a little backbone and was able to get things going on the next powerplay. Chris picked up a loose puck along the far boards and fed Russ who was camped out behind the net, Russ made a move like he was going to wrap the puck around, and as Depip went to guard the post, Russ fed #67 (a.k.a. TPOC) in front who chipped in the onetimer for the score — in the opening :12 seconds of the penalty! Later in the 2nd, Chris would once again feed Russ who would put the second puck of the night past Depip. It seemed like the Pirates had the momentum going. Then Roger fired a puck from the blueline and one of the refs blew the whistle, but the ref down low waved it off and Roger went ballistic! Roger decided to take out his aggressions on “Big Ant.” The two tangled and were sent to the benches without a penalty on either side. The 2nd ended with the score 3-2.

The 3rd was all Pirates. Except for a breakaway by the Gerrys (which was expertly turned aside by Harris), the Pirates had all the chances. Unfortunately, that seemed to be all we had. If only Chris' legs were a little longer! On one play, Russ took the puck to the blueline, and Chris dragged his leg as much as he could (which really isn't very much with that brace he wears) and Russ fired the puck which squeezed through Depip's pads and dribbled over the goal line. It would have been the tying goal if Chris had not been offsides. Depip came up strong on a breakaway when TPOC (er, #67) stepped around the Gerry “D” and tried to go glove side. Depip snagged it with a spectacular grab and held on for the face-off. The Pirates continued to have all sorts of chances, Russ hit a post, other shots peppered Depip, but none found the twine. The “D” finished off the night with strong play, but we all discovered what was worse then losing to the Gerrys — losing to the Gerrys two weeks in row.

LOST 3-2


(none awarded)