19W, no. 7; newsletter by k.r.)
Question: What happens when the number one “A” teams plays the number one “B” team? Answer: The Pirates get hacked apart by the Lumberjacks. Although the final score might tell a different tale, the game was not a blow-out, but rather a methodical lashing — the Lumberjacks just kept coming at the Pirates and made the most of their opportunities. There were several good chances for the Pirates as well, but the fine play of Steve Carr (the opposition's keeper) nullified them.
With Mike Farrell filling-in for an ill Craig Sudol, the Pirates played the game with nine skaters (Jimmy, who had just paid-off his “fines,” was AWOL once again and has begun adding to his tab). The defense consisted of Keith, Mike and Dave, while up front was Chris, Russ, Wildman, the Brothers Miller and Brian “I won't write another newsletter until my demands are met” Newcomb.
All in all it was obvious that the Lumberjack skaters were a little faster, their passes a little crisper, and their game a little more honed than our's. At the end of the 1st half we were 3-0 in the hole, and the Lumberjacks added another four in the 2nd half. But look at it this way: They beat the Blackhawks 10-2 last week so we're in good company. Still, the biggest loss of the evening was not the game itself, but our Captain; Russ was hit late in the final period and the resulting hamstring injury will sideline him for our trio of games this week — if not longer.
“Newsletter Lockout” Update: As you all know, we are now entering Week 2 of the labor dispute with the author of the Wednesday newsletters. At the “meeting” last week, #67 put forth a new proposal to file his newsletters by Saturday of each week. Management, after significant thought and two Pabst Blue Ribbons, declined this latest proposal. To dispel any myths regarding this, management's decision had nothing to do with Mike Farrell yelling “that's bullshit, you should write them the next day!” Regardless, until #67 is willing to abide by a newsletter-cap of early Friday morning, we have no other option then to continue to find replacement writers. The Coastal Pirates thank you for your patience and also would like to thank Keith for filing this newsletter with 24 hours of the actual game.