22W, no. 7; newsletter by b.n.)
March 19, 2006. Mark that day on your calendar right now. Think cigars, think congratulations. Think beer. But try not to think about the Pine Acres. You see the Pine Acres are what they are, they can't help it. Think of the Lion that attacks and kills the lowly Wildebeest. The Lion does not kill the poor Wildebeest because he is an evil cross-checking, slew-footing tyrant, but instead the Lion kills the Wildebeest because he he's hungry and that is the way of the jungle (it is also what they call the “circle of life” — I saw the Lion King, I know). On the other hand, the Coastal Pirates are what they are. You would think that a team that holds the Pirate as its mascot — a mascot that is famous for fighting, pillaging and all around rowdiness — could live up to the lifestyle of the Pirate. Come on! Do you think Blackbeard went to bed at 9:30? What about Calico Jack? His night didn't start till after 10:00 at night. But Coastal Pirates? Please! Do you think they could scrounge up enough players for an 11:00pm game? As game time approached, it looked like there were four Pirates dressed: LeMatty, Evan, Dave, #67 (plus Harris), along with Bobby Currao who was intercepted on his way home from the pro shop. With the arrival of Wildman, the game got underway. Shortly thereafter Gucci strolled in and then Kevin McLaughlin showed up. (editor's note: Yes, Gucci was fined three beers for being “tardy,” and no, Kevin wasn't fined because he's not actually on the roster and was showing-up to bail us out.)
The Pirates spotted the Pine Acres three goals before Kevin stepped on the rink (which took all of about 8:00 minutes or so), but after that the Pirates held their own for the remainder of the period which ended in a somewhat respectable 3-0 Acres lead. Meanwhile, all eyes were on Scott LeMatty who, while playing for the Crunch in the previous game, was tossed out against the Pine Acres after some rough and tumble play; as it turned out, nothing happened as the Pine Acres apparently put on their “kid gloves” for the night.
After holding off the Pine Acre scoreless for the final 15:00 minutes of the 1st period, the Pirates felt that it was only a matter of time before Kevin and the Wildebeest himself picked up the puck and picked-up a couple of goals for the good guys. But it was not to be. Lions must be nocturnal, and the Pine Acres were able to pile on more goals before #67 finally chased a puck into the corner and fed it back to Kevin; Kevin blasted a shot that deflected off Evan before finding the twine. But, the Lions, er, Pine Acres answered right back. Later in the period Evan deflected another shot from Kevin to put the second Pirate goal on the board. But that was it, the Wildebeest was slain. And what, is going to happen on March 19, 2006? Well it seems that besides pillaging and fighting, Pirates are famous for ... let's just say “having their way.” And as it turns out, Dave Matthews went on a boat recently and — in true Pirate fashion — spent the entire trip “mating.” Hmmm ... look for a new Pirate in the Spring! Go Dave!
date of game: 7.06.05
1) EVAN MILLER
For being a “deflecting machine,” as our only two tallies of the night bounced off him (thanks to Kevin).