(vol. 24W, no. 4; newsletter by b.n.)
Be careful what you wish for ...

Why just last week I was bemoaning the fact the offense was nonexistent (and of course,I did it in my usual tactful manner which, of course, means that I did it by insulting the defense for doing all the scoring). Now about this week ... but first let me just say one more thing: Sometimes after a newsletter like last week, someone gets offended and wants to kick my ass. I try to keep those situations to a minimum, but last week I just could not help myself. Not that I expected Mike to be annoyed — he never cares what you write about him as long as you get his name right. No, I was a little more concerned about Gucci, who is relatively new to the team and may not be accustomed to my unique writing style. Anyway, I expected to catch a little grief, but what I did not expect was the response that I heard from Harris. According to Harris, Gucci was genuinely apologetic after reading the newsletter. Whoops, that was not supposed to happen! In all seriousness, there should be no apologies for putting the puck in the net.

Now the game: For yet another night, the roster was full of guys filling-in. Other then the net, which Harris dutifully manned for the night, just about every other line had someone filling-in. The starting line on “D” consisted of #67-Mike Farrell (who was subbing for Gucci who hopefully wasn't sitting out after reading last week's newsletter). The second line on “D” was Dave Matthews-Joe Baio (who was subbing for the third consecutive Wednesday game). Up front was Scotty LeMatty (sub) with Scott Miller and Nick G.; meanwhile, on other forward line was Tim Hand (sub), Evan and Wildman. The opponents for the night were the old Pirate nemesis, the Phantoms. Everybody knows the Phantoms and, thanks to Roger Weiss, everyone knows “The Guy Formerly Known as Arroyo.” The guy's buddy is the blond-haired guy that can skate like the dickens. Rumor has it that those two guys are known to throw back a couple of beers before the game, and after The Guy Formerly Known as Arroyo skated his first shift (a shift in which he was having serious trouble staying on his feet), it looked like it might be the Pirates' night. Besides the “Stumbling Guy,” the Phantoms had only five other skaters. Meanwhile, the Pirates had a complete bench of ten. But based on the Pirates' performance earlier this season against a team that was forced to play ironman, the Pirates should not have take the Phantoms and their shortened-bench for granted. Unfortunately, no one told the Pirates that. After the 1st period, the heavily-outmanned Phantoms had the Pirates knotted at 0-0.

The Phantoms were bound to get tired. Right? Well, I hate to say it, but wrong! The Phantoms would score first in the final period on a quick shot that got past Harris at the 16:00-minute mark. Fortunately the Pirates would get on the board during the next shift when Evan fed the puck to Wildman who had a wide-open net to shoot at yet could not pull the trigger; the goalie was able to slide over to cover the bottom half of the net and, unbelievably, Wildman continued to stickhandle the puck right in front of the sprawled out goalie for what seemed like forever before finally firing the puck into the top corner. (The goalie would report later at their version of the “post-game meeting” that he thought Wildman was just f---ing with him on that play). The Pirates looked to have a chance to jump out to the lead after Scott LeMatty took a shot from behind the net than bounced off the post and was loose on the goal line, but Scott's strategy of celebrated like it was goal in the hopes of freezing the goalie backfired when he also managed to freeze Scott Miller who didn't bother swiping at the obviously loose puck. Oh well. And speaking of the Stumbling Guy (I know that I'm not, but I just want to get to this), he looked like he got the worst of it when he stepped in front of #67 who was heading up the rink with a full head of steam; #67 plowed right over the Stumbling Guy leaving him stickless and missing a glove at center ice. And speaking of the Stumbling Guy (I can say that now), the Guy Formerly Known as Arroyo wasn't the only guy having trouble keeping his feet; Our formerly favorite referee, Scott Baldwin, was also falling down all over the place. He first tried to play it off by acting like there was something wrong with his skate (BS) and then he tried to blame it on the floor (more BS, even though the new floor is slated to be replaced in the next week). My guess would be that Scott and the Stumbling Guy were hanging out together before the game. But you didn't hear that from me (well maybe you did, but don't tell anyone else).

Ok, back to the game. Do you remember that game where Nick G. scored a goal in the closing seconds after the Pirates pulled Harris for the extra skater? Yeah, that was pretty cool. But unfortunately that was a couple games ago and as the saying goes, “you win some, you lose some.” And Nick definitely lost one (namely the puck) as he tried to skate out of the Pirates's zone with 6:00 minutes remaining in a 1-1 game. Boom! And just like that the Phantom dude pounced on the puck and propelled it past Harris. She-it! I hate when that happens. So as luck would have it, the Pirates would pull Harris for the third time in four games. And for the third time in four games, the puck would find its way into the net. Unfortunately it was the Pirate net. (Not that it really matters, because even when the Pirates score a goal with the extra skater they still find a way to lose the game in regulation). And that's how it ended. Well, at least the offense finally got a goal. This is all Gucci's fault! If he would have been there, his goal-scoring ability would have made the difference. In all seriousness though, if anyone is to blame it must be Adam; because unbeknownst to the guy who writes the newsletter, Evan was supposed to be credited with an assist on one of Mike's goals last week. And if Evan gets the credit, so what? Well, if Evan get's the assist then it changes the entire theme for last week's newsletter and, as a result, something different is posted and, as a result, Gucci is not ashamed to show up for the Phantoms' game. And, if Gucci shows up then it would have been a totally different game ... or not.

Happy New Year!
date of game: 12.29.05


LOST 3-1


For his patient goal — our only tally of the night.

For setting-up Wildman. (Evan leads the team in assists — after four games he has two.)