(vol. 26S, no. 3; newsletter by h.s.)
After back-to-back wins to start the season, the Pirates faced their most formidable foe of the South Division, the Chiefs. Wearing their alternate white jerseys, the Pirates had a nine-man bench with only Scott LeMatty being AWOL for the night's festivities. (I got a call from Scott several hours later explaining that he thought our game was 10pm. The SOC is deliberating on what action to take.) Joe Baio — pretty much a regular fixture to the squad — was subbing and Mike “Look at the Moon” Farrell was filling-in for Kevin.

After a couple early scrambles in our zone, the Chiefs capitalized on the Pirates' inability to clear a puck when they netted a quick wrister that just hooked the inside of the post for the first goal of the game at the 19:00-minute mark. The Chiefs — led by a PBR-crazed #67 — seemed to have an extra step on the sluggish Pirate crew for most of the first half of the 1st period. At the 15:00-minute mark, Brooks broke up ice and stickhandled in alone on Doug Collimore; a few moves later he had a sprawled-out Collimore and a lot of open net, but he lifted his backhander just high and the Chiefs were able to take the 1-0 lead into the break.

That lead would be short lived in the final 22:00 minutes however. Mike “Rock Covers Paper” Farrell would even things up on the first shift of the next period when he received a pass from Ralz and shot a hard low shot five-hole that surprised Collimore. About 8:00 minutes later, Captain Russ tallied what would be the gamewinner (assist to Brooks). With the Pirates holding the narrowest of leads, Mike “I Got a New Truck and it Sure as Hell Ain't a Ford” Farrell decided it would be a good time to take a penalty and got called for “slashing.” (Rumor had it that when the ref blew the whistle, Brooks instinctively headed to the box since it's usually on him.) The Pirates special teams killed-off the penalty, but not without some excitement: On one scramble the puck was loose beneath my pad and Joe Baio was animatedly-trying to show me where it was; when i failed to spot the loose puck, Joe simply pushed me over on top of it to stop play (Thanks Joe). Brooks and Russ had a great give-and-go late in the period, but #67 proceeded to do a fairly-accurate impression of a flounder being caught which remarkably nullified the scoring opportunity: On the play, Brian fell to the ground and laid on one side and began bucking up-and-down in distress; this had the desired effect of distracting Russ long enough so that #67 was then able to swat the puck out of harm's way. The Chiefs pulled their goalie with a minute remaining and had one good breakaway, but the Pirates soon regained control and skated to the third win of the season.
date of game: 7.09.06

editor's note: Without a doubt the most exciting events of the night occurred at the post-game “meeting.” First, Brian (who had just played 44:00 minutes against the Pirates but was now wearing a Pirate championship t-shirt) went over to his Chief teammates' gathering and snagged us four CoorsLights™. Then, Brooks came out with this great line to Russ: “You are without a doubt the slowest player in the league.” Soon after that, #67 showed us where Russ' shot struck him and I was able to chime in that “Brian has a bruise on his arm where on most men would be their bicep.”

But after about an hour of this lively banter the crowd dispersed and it was only Wildman, Mike, myself ... and an empty cooler. The Chiefs were still meeting a few yards away and they seemed to have ample supplies, so we decided that a game of “Rock-Paper-Scissors” would determine who should ask them for beer (see above graphic for game rules). Wildman made a spirited attempt to introduce “a Match” to the “Rock-Paper-Scissors” game — citing that “a match burns paper that covers rock” — but he was quickly outvoted and soon found himself the official emissary for additional CoorsLight™. Fortunately the Chiefs were hospitable and invited us over. After a drink together we realized that we have more in common with them then we thought — namely agreeing that Brian is a “beer whore.”


WON 2-1


For the GWG.

He shows, she scores!


For allowing 2 goals in 3 games. 'Nuff said.