(vol. 26W, no. 10; newsletter by b.n.)
I was riding my John Deere the other day, quietly minding my own business, mindlessly mowing down weeds that had grown embarrassingly high. With my safety glasses, ear protection and dust mask, I pretty much looked like a dork, but I didn't care — it's much better then spending the rest of the day fighting watery eyes and sneezing. So there I was plowing through my Kentucky bluegrass when suddenly the lawn tractor belted-out what sounded like one hell of a backfire and shut off. Dead. Just like that. I've had the hand-me-down mower for just over six years now and it has done a lot of strange things, but never that. I flipped open the engine compartment and checked to make sure everything looked okay: The bungee cord was still holding the battery in place; the rubberband was still attached to the throttle cable; the electrical tape was still wrapped tightly around the seat sensor (so the engine would continue to run even though you got off the seat). All the obvious things seemed to be in order. But then I realized that the carburetor was smashed to bits. Literally, it looked like someone took a sledgehammer to the thing. After noticing that, I simultaneously realized that there was a large hole in the side of the engine compartment. At first I thought that the carburetor must have exploded, sending shrapnel out through the side of the engine compartment. But then I noticed that there were small pieces of green fiberglass embedded amongst the pulverized carburetor. The side of the tractor was facing the wooded area behind my yard. I looked out into the trees and I thought I saw some movement, but couldn't tell exactly what it was. Perhaps it was the deer that sometimes travel through the area ... or perhaps it was something else. “Oh well,” I thought to myself, I've been wanting to get a new riding mower for a while now.
date of game: 7.26.06

editor's note: The Pirates organization welcomes back #67 to writing the newsletters!
We'd just like to add that Evan scored our lone goal (unassisted) and the teams combined for 10:00 minutes of penalties in the final period — a new Pirate record!


LOST 4-1


We're not awarding any skulls for this performance, but we're giving an “Honorable Mention” to Señor Juan — the guy who walks the two golden retrievers and owns the cigar store in Belmar. Señor Juan stopped by at 11:15pm (right when Dave told him we'd be out) and brought us a bunch of fresh, hand-rolled stogies — on the house!