(vol. 26W, no. 8; newsletter by h.s.)
The following newsletter contains some juvenile “bathroom humour” and is rated PG-13 for content.

With only two men manning the defense for the night, Joe Baio confidently turned to Gucci before the opening face-off and said:  “I just took Viagra and I could go all night!” And he wasn't kidding. Joe tallied two of the six goals to spearhead
(no pun intended) the Pirate victory. Missing from action were Craig, Nick, Dave (AWOL) and Scooby (AWOL); fortunately the Pirates were able to bolster the bench with Kevin and Scott LeMatty who had just played the previous game for the Chiefs.

Joe scored early
(no pun intended) to give us the 1-0 lead, but the Bottom Feeders answered right back when they moved the puck down low and hooked a low shot off the post. Gucci (assist to Russ) would get the Pirates back on top (no pun intended) but before the end of the period the Feeders would catch a big break — the Feeders won a defensive-zone face-off back to their point man and he launched a long, wide shot that re-directed off one of the buckled floor tiles and turned 90-degrees into the Pirate net, knotting things up 2-2. 

In the final period, Joe (obviously still feeling the effects of the miracle drug) got a pass from Gucci and scored again
(no pun intended) to leapfrog the Pirates back into the lead, 3-2. The Feeders would rally back though and broke down the right wing a short time later and blasted a shot that deflected off my face mask and into the net, tying things at 3-3. Fate, sensing that it kind of boned us (no pun intended) on the second goal by the Feeders that bounced-off the floor tile, directed the next errant puck to bounce off the back of the Feeder's goalie and into their own net. Here's what happened: Wildman hustled down the wing to a loose puck and chipped it down along the boards; seeing the Miller Bros. open in the front he tried to thread a backhand pass to them, but instead hit the goalie (As Wildman was the last Pirate to touch it he gets the credit — and the GWG). LeMatty would at last give us a two-goal lead after Russ won the face-off back to him; on that play is when Russ took a stick to the mask, the effects off which Russ wouldn't feel until the next face-off when he collapsed at center ice. Russ was helped-off the ice and wouldn't return to action. (editor's note: He netted a hattrick the next game back, so he's his old self again.) Even with a 5-3 lead the Feeders kept-up (no pun intended) their attack. WIth about 3:00 minutes remaining, Kevin would deflate them (no pun intended) after he went coast-to-coast and doubled-up the score 6-3, giving the Pirates their third consecutive win.

It was without a doubt a big, big (pun intended!) win.
date of game: 7.12.06

editor's note: USA Today ran a story on July 4 saying that skull fashions are now the hot trend (click image to enlarge). Better get your Coastal Pirate merchandise before it flies off the shelves.


WON 6-3


For his 2 goals.

For his 2-point night.


For staying at the last-minute for us and creating the usual havoc in the offensive zone.