(vol. 29S, no. 5; newsletter by h.s.)
After almost two months of being away from the rink, you'd think a shutout would be a rewarding thing to come back to. The 8-0 win over the Kings, however, was not the part of the game that I'll be remembering — instead it'll be the last 5:00 minutes when the fighting began. Ironically, the fighting wasn't against our opponents, but rather amongst the Pirates themselves. But let's move on to the first 39:00-minutes when things are a bit sweeter ...

The South division's No.1-ranked Pirates (3-1) lined-up against the last-place Kings (0-4) for game five of the Sunday season — the halfway mark of the schedule. Although on paper the Kings might seem an easy win, there's no denying they have some talent up front along with the ever-threatening presence of big Rob Armswood and his patented slapshot on defense. On the bench the Pirates only had eight men as the Men In Black were without Kevin (undoubtedly involved with the Randy Moss transaction) and an A.W.O.L. Dan. To start, the Pirates played with five forwards (The Farkas Bros., Anthony, Brooks and Ralz) and three defensemen (Gucci, Wildman and Scott LeMatty). Taking over for Doug Collimore and his impressive 2.25 g.a.a. was Yours Truly.

Once the Pirates got rolling, the goals started coming and we held a comfortable 4-0 lead at the break. In order of puck appearance into the Kings' net, it was Tim (assist Tony) who began the barrage, followed by a couple of nifty one-timers from Brooks (assists LeMatty and Tony), and then a beautiful coast-to-coast exhibition by Gucci. The cliché “more of the same” comes to mind as Gucci (assist G. Farkas) tallied his second of the night a short time later and then Brooks finished his hattrick (assist to Tony). The last couple of goals were “The Glenn Farkas Show” (assists Tony and LeMatty), including the shorthanded tally to seal the “Mercy” with 4:21-remaining.

So, what could have gone wrong in a game where everything was so right? Playing time. This is probably the worst enemy the Pirates have had and its haunted us for a long time. Apparently, during the last few weeks it's gotten worse. Let's hope we can find a cure or — like scurvy in the days of old — there's a good chance that it'll kill us.
date of game: 4.29.07

WON 8-0


For his 2-goal night.

For two goals and a number of strong defensive plays.


For the GWG (in the opening minutes of the 1st period).


1) No fighting between pirates on board the ship. (This is actually from the real “Pirate Code of Conduct”!)
2) Shifts are 2:00-2:30 minutes.
3) Don't claim to not know how long you are on the ice for.
4) If you're telling people you're not violating Rules 2 or 3, then it means you probably are.
5) The punishment for hitting a man is 40 lashes on the bare back. (This isn't really one of our rules, I just wanted to make sure you were still reading.)