31S, no. 8; newsletter by gucci)
editor's note: Those of us who do the “email thing” know that typing in all caps means the sender is yelling. But for those of us who have communicated with Gucci via email we know that he has a tendency towards typing in all caps because he usually forgets to take the “caps lock” key off. For his first-ever newsletter we decided to present his synopsis in the all-caps form he sent it. Keep in mind that he's not yelling, he's just being Gooch ...
I'LL TRY MY FIRST NEWSLETTER IF YOU WILL HAVE IT. THE PIRATES, HAVING CLINCHED THEIR PLAYOFF BIRTH, HAD COME ONTO THE RINK WITH A FUN AND GAMES ATTITUDE AND IT SHOWED IN THE FIRST PERIOD. IN ORDER FOR FELLOW-PIRATE BRIAN NEWCOMB'S OTHER TEAM TO MAKE THE PLAYOFFS WE HAD TO SCORE EIGHT GOALS — AND THIS MAY HAVE BEEN THE REASON WE LOOKED SO ROUGH. OUR MINDS WERE NOT ON WINNING, BUT SCORING GOALS AND POINTS INSTEAD. I MUST FIRST MENTION THERE WERE NO LATE FINES TO REPORT BECAUSE GUCCI DIDNT MISS HIS FIRST SHIFT AND WILDMAN ACTUALLY HAD TIME TO WARM-UP. RUSS TOOK CONTROL OF THE LINES, SETTING-UP TONY, BROOKS AND DANNY WITH THE DEFENSIVE PAIR OF LEMATTY AND WILDMAN. THE SECOND LINES WERE RUSS, TIM AND FARKAS WITH THE DEFENSIVE PAIR (AND HORSESHOE CHAMPIONS FROM THE 2ND ANNUAL COASTAL PIRATE FEST) OF GUCCI AND FARRELL.
THE 1ST PERIOD STARTED OUT WITH THE CANNIBALS DRAWING FIRST BLOOD. THAT WAS FOLLOWED-UP BY A NICOLOSI FROM GUCCI (THE GUINEA CONNECTION) FAST STRIKE BACK. THE CANNIBALS RESPONDED AGAIN TO TAKE A 2-1 LEAD AND IT LOOKED LIKE WE WERE IN FOR A LONG NIGHT. OUR SECOND STRIKE CAME FROM LEMATTY FROM BROOKS. OUR THIRD TALLY WAS A PRETTY ONE, WHICH DIPIERRO SNAPPED IN AFTER A SWEET PASS FROM TOSCANO (ANOTHER GUNIEA CONNECTION).
AFTER THE BREAK THE PIRATES CAME OUT WITH SWORDS IN HAND AND A NEED TO FINISH THIS ONE OFF ... YET THE CANNIBALS KEPT BATTLING BACK. OUR FOURTH GOAL WAS SCORED BY TOSCANO FROM BROOKS — A THREE- AND FOUR-POINT NIGHT FOR THEM RESPECTIVELY. NOW IT WAS TIME ONCE AGAIN FOR THE GUNIEA CONNECTION TO STRIKE AGAIN: THE GWG WAS SET UP FROM GUCCI ON A “BEAUTIFUL” CROSS-RINK PASS FROM THE POINT TO A WAITING NICOLOSI, WHO PICKED HIS CORNER AND PUT THE BISCUIT IN THE BASKET. AFTER A QUESTIONALBLE TIME-OUT BY GUCCI (DOUG, OUR OUTSTANDING FILL-IN GOALIE SUMMONED THAT HE WAS TIRED AND NEEDED A BREAK — “RIGHT DOUG”), RUSS ASSURED THE TEAM OF THEIR STRATEGY FOR THE REMAINING 4:00 MINUTES. THE FINAL TALLIES CAME FROM BROOKS (ASSIST TOSACANO) THEN RETURNING THE FAVOR, OF COURSE, BROOKS' ON A SOLO EFFORT TO MAKE IT 7-4.
TO RECAP THE EVENING IT WAS NICE TO SEE THE PIRATES KEEP IT TOGETHER ALTHOUGH WE DID FALL SHORT OF HELPING A FELLOW PIRATE MAKE IT TO THE SUNDAY PLAYOFFS. ON THE OTHER HAND IT WAS NICE TO SEE THE CHIPPYNESS OF TIMMY HAND (SPORTING THE MICHAEL MCDONALD GOATIE) WHO GOT A CHECKING PENALTY, AND FARKAS WITH A SLASHING CALL, AND RUSS WITH AN UNINTENTIONAL HIGH STICK. OVERALL DOUG COLLIMORE REALLY DID A GREAT JOB FILLING THOSE UNFULLFILLABLE SKATES OF OUR BELOVED HARRIS.
editor's note: Since the time of this writing, we've learned that Dan DiPierro scored the finally tally of the evening. The stats have been corrected and Brooks still owes Tony a favor.
date of game: 11.25.07
1) ANTHONY TOSCANO
For the points.
2) DOUG COLLIMORE
For subbing and getting a vital win for the team before the Playoffs.
3) RUSS NICOLOSI
For his points and leadership.