32W, no. 4; newsletter by b.n.)
I realize that there is a writers' strike going on.
And I realize that the Coastal Pirate Newsletter Writers' Association is currently on strike.
But I can't help myself (and it is an unpaid position anyway, so even if we get a 1000% raise we're still left with nothing at the end of the day). Well, nothing is probably incorrect, because I know that after I have written a newsletter, I feel an enormous sense of pride — that even though I can't contribute much on the floor, I still have something that I can do for the team. There is also that feeling of relief I get when the newsletter is done — I stop getting those emails, those phone calls, and those text messages from Harris demanding the newsletter. Unfortunately, that sense of relief does not last long. On any given day of the week, it is more than likely that there is a newsletter that is due, rather than a newsletter that is posted. And I guess that is just the way things go and I am proud to carry that boatload of guilt around for four- or five-days a week, as long as I know someone out there somewhere gets a smile in their day or a bounce in their step after reading a newsletter. It is quite a responsibility ...
editors note: Sigh. It was obvious from the start that #67 was going nowhere with this so-called “newsletter,” but it got to the point where in good conscience I could not let it continue. For the sake of the readers of the Pirate website, I deleted the final 200-inches of copy. The odd thing about this rambling was that it never once mentioned the actual game — well, maybe that's not so odd after all. The S.O.C. did review his text and they realize that from time-to-time #67 will write a newsletter about aliens, lawn tractors, and dark matter. But in this particular case, it seems that there was clear intent by #67 to submit an actual non-newsletter under the guise of a newsletter. And, while #67 met the technical conditions of submitting a newsletter, it was found that his intent was not in the “spirit of the newsletter” and thusly has violated a sacred oath amongst newsletter writers and done himself — and them — a disservice. Said newsletter was in fact an intent to further the C.P.N.W.A.'s message that have been heard ad nauseam at the bargaining table. Unfortunately, until this strike has been settled, all we can offer for a newsletter this week is the following ...
FOR THE RECORD
Attendance (players): Evan Miller, Scott Miller, Mike Farrell, Newcomb, Scott LeMatty, Brooks, Dave Matthews, Gucci, Russ, Joe Baio (subbing), Harris in net
Scratches (players): Kevin
Scoring: 1st period, 2-1 Phantoms: Pirate goals by Mike (Brooks). Goal by LeMatty waived-off after #67 took a penalty; 3rd period: 4-2 Phantoms: Pirate goals by Brooks (Newcomb); Nick (unassisted). Emptynet goal by Phantoms.
date of game: 1.09.08
1) MIKE FARRELL
For being a part of both Pirate tallies.
2) DAVE MATTHEWS
For some tenacious “D” and finding that contact in Tennessee. (Hey, that rhymes. )