(vol. 33S, no. 6; newsletter by r.n.)
editor's note: Another Blackberry™-authored newsletter by our Cap'n. This is presented uncensored in its entirety.
To start with, this was one of the better games we have played in recent memory. The game was clean and fast-paced. The Chiefs played their usual hustling style which made for a back and forth match. The Pirates played a pretty smart game and minimized turnovers and odd man rushes.

Joe Lyden started the scoring with a beautiful rush in which he split the defense and roofed a wrist shot. Our other goal scorers were Tony and 2 other guys. One Chiefs goal deflected off my skate while trying to cover a player in front and the other goal sucked just as bad.

The story of the night was more the funny discussions with refs and among players than the actual game, so I propose the 3 stars are distributed as follows:

Dave Kurasz gets first star for his explanation of what is and isn't a penalty for a player “closing their hand on the puck and advancing it.” As I now understand, the GoodSports rule is as follows: If a player happens to be on the floor without a glove on and the puck comes to that same player without him(/her) having “to reach too far or make too much of a special effort to pick it up,” it is legal to use that ungloved hand to pick up the puck and throw it behind your own net and around the boards to a player along the far boards and away from any danger.

This is very comparable to the new NHL rules for playing against Sydney Crosby, if Princess Crosby loses the puck and flops like Rodney Dangerfield doing “The Triple Lindy” it is a penalty. If one of Princess Crosby's teammates is a bit reckless and tears open an opponents face with their stick, it is now called “accidental gauging” and is not a penalty. As in the puck flipping incident at GoodSports, these rules are not in the actual rule book but have been deemed as “under the judgment and jurisdiction of the on-ice official and his (or her) imagination.”

Craig Grinberg gets the second star for two independent discussions: First, for his amusing banter with Harris about Craig missing a game without informing Harris so that he can try to get a sub. Craig explained to Harris that “it was a Jewish holiday and I shouldn't have to explain that to you and you shouldn't have been here anyway and you should be ashamed of yourself.” Now if you say that with a nice Jackie Mason accent, it's really funny. I guess this is why we play on Sunday and not Saturday; Second, for his rambling insurance discussion. Which reminds me, if someone can explain to Tim, Brian, Harris and I what 15/30/45 or 20/60/80 is when buying insurance and why Adolf from State Farm doesn't want it in his book or on his farm with his tractor, it would be greatly appreciated.

Third star goes to Gucci. He apparently said that Craig and I are the most vocal defense pair in all of hockey. I think that is a fair assessment with the following corollary. Craig and I are the most vocal pairing when yelling at the refs and complaining (and occasionally encouraging) teammates about the game and associated topics. Gucci and Joe are the most vocal during the games about everything and anything other than hockey (and Joe never says a word).

Respectfully submitted ... 99.

Attendance (players): Russ, Ralz, LeMatty, Anthony, Glenn-man, Dan, Joe Lyden, Craig, Gucci ... and Brian (but #67 was actually just watching the game and drinking all the Chiefs' beer from their locker room).
Scratches: none
Scoring: 1st period: 2-0 Pirates: Goals by Joe; Tony (Tim); 3rd period: 4-2 Pirates: Goals by Milo (DiPierro, LeMatty); Joe (Tony).
*The accuracy of these stats are not guaranteed since they have not been reviewed by Brooks.

date of game: 5.04.08

WON 4-2


For his GWG.

For a terrific heads-up pass to Charlie in front for what would be the gamewinner. (This is especially impressive because Dan got his bell rung while subbing for us last Monday night.)

For showing-up, playing some good “D” and paying his “fines” (yes, he actually did clear the slate by paying with some Propel™ water and State Farm paraphernalia.)